A Fool Proof Plan?

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Diet Coach Diet Coach
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A Fool Proof Plan?

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Andrea T Andrea T
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Re: A Fool Proof Plan?

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Someone else doing all the cooking, shopping,  measuring and tracking? Are you kidding? That's not an intervention, that's a   gift! Who on earth would turn that down?

just a question:
Would there be a change in rules  for family/social events, an  agreement not  to eat anything during those times, or  just a mutual agreement not to attend  until goal weight was achieved? I hate that minefield.


A lot of companies do this like Bistro MD  and  other much more expensive options that  cater to  celebs.
Diet Coach Diet Coach
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Andrea T Andrea T
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Re: A Fool Proof Plan?

If the only thing that matters   is calories,  Subway would work IF the  fit  spouse  did the ordering. Mayo and cheese  take a  220  calorie  6 inch to  450, and that's just a  ham sub.

As far as lean cuisine, I don't think it's that great of an idea because:
1. ) The vegetable portions are minuscule. Would it kill them to toss another cup of  broccoli  in?
2.) Most are  just portion controlled versions of junk food, so no  change in habits.

Who knows? maybe a lean spouse would feel vindicated in some way by  having total control of the fat spouse's diet. This would probably be a  better strategy for a fat spouse that's busy  with work, gym, school etc,  since they're more likely  see it as a favor than taking control.
Mme.X Mme.X
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Re: A Fool Proof Plan?

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Diet Coach wrote
If the wife is being the food and portion cop...
Ah, but there's the rub. How many guys want to cede control to their wives? How many guys overeat because it's something they feel they have control over? At least, that seems to be an issue in our case--and limited success so far has only occurred when I backed off.

That said, I do think that my husband is unusually stubborn.

But, for other people, how might it work? Hmm. Well, I could imagine making it part of a larger geisha routine, trying to counteract the understandable bristling of manly pride with the prospect of being waited on hand and foot. But how long could one sustain that without frustration or nausea, especially if there are stealth drive-throughs to Jack-in-the-Box?
Madame X (detail), John Singer Sargent, 1883–84, oil on canvas, 82 1/8 x 43 1/4 in. (208.6 x 109.9 cm), Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
hourglassrunner hourglassrunner
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Re: A Fool Proof Plan?

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Mine would just drive to Burger King on his way home from work and have three burgers and fries and milkshakes etc.  Then when he wasn't losing weight a few weeks later he'd say "see, it won't work for me, guess it's time to stop trying."

Andrea T Andrea T
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Re: A Fool Proof Plan?

I'd probably  stop carrying money and ATM cards as part of the deal, though I know if someone tries, even a gas card or department store credit card can be used to buy junk food.

If my spouse had the attitude towards it that DC sometimes does, part of the appeal would be showing that even by  doing things exactly as they say, weight loss isn't as  easy  or as linear as some  fit spouses would assume.I like the role reversal of the fit spouse having to put the time and mental energy into organizing the food.
Mr Blue Mr Blue
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Re: A Fool Proof Plan?

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DC,

My fatty has agreed to "lose the weight" in the past only to reveal her insincerity by lying and cheating.  After I moved out of our bedroom, for example, she came to me pleading "I know I've been bad ... Please don't do this to me ...  I don't want people to know that we are having problems  .... I'm going to make you so proud, etc.. "  She then made a show of not eating when I was around or when we went out.  She had me fooled for awhile and, indeed, did look a little slimmer around the middle.  But when we danced one evening, I realized she had merely taken to wearing a very thick girdle.  Her deceitfulness became fully manifest when I came home shortly afterward and found her sitting in her bed stuffing herself with pizza and KFC.  "What happened to the diet Rebecca,"  I asked.  I'll never forget the piteous look on her face as she looked up at me in her stained nightgown and gasped "I can't stop ... I can't stop ... Please don't leave me."
hourglassrunner hourglassrunner
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Re: A Fool Proof Plan?

Wow Mr. Blue, I am so so very sorry for your loss.

And I call it a loss because that is what it is.  You are grieving for the woman you married, for the woman you know she is killing inside of her.

Diet Coach Diet Coach
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Diet Coach Diet Coach
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Diet Coach Diet Coach
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hourglassrunner hourglassrunner
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I will confess that right after we were married he would tell me he was "on the way" home and still take over an hour to arrive.  (We live within walking distance).  I got very paranoid and curious why it took him so long and unfortunately learned the real reason.  It wasn't another woman, it was burger king.  Our checking account said it all.  It wasn't another woman... He went to burger king almost every night!  

And he spends more than fifteen dollars a day there.  He says he doesn't go there now, but he also just got a credit card in his name only. So who knows?  I want to believe it's not that, but it's so disturbing that he treats the junk food as if it's a mistress.
Mr Blue Mr Blue
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Mr Blue Mr Blue
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Mme.X Mme.X
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Thank you for taking the time to make these suggestions. My husband can't stand doctors. He cannot stand pressure from anyone. Period. Besides, he knows what he needs to do. And slowly, at the moment, he is doing it. He certainly does not have a 'fat boy ego.' He feels terrible about himself. He is generally very considerate of everyone else (even me--but especially the kids--he's not lazy--he pulls his fair share--maybe more than his fair share), but he cries when talking of himself. There's more there than just fattitude. I do not know that I will ever learn what it is. But it is not just about food.

Thanks for the pictures. Neither of them quite float my boat.  I'm not into sundaes, and the other guy looks a bit gay-heroine-addicty for me, but let me go look again.
Madame X (detail), John Singer Sargent, 1883–84, oil on canvas, 82 1/8 x 43 1/4 in. (208.6 x 109.9 cm), Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
yorktown38 yorktown38
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Mr Blue Mr Blue
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'She want's you around as a companion and bread winner but my guess is she's replace you if she could hook up with a fat admirer.'

I am not concerned with Becky running off with BAs, DAs, or FAs, the  existence of the latter still being very hard for me to wrap my head around, Mme.X's link notwithstanding.  Perhaps you missed my earlier posts in which we discussed the effects of obesity upon sexuality.  In our case, I have it from my wife's own mouth, in response to a therapist's questions, that she somehow has "lost the urge,"  which is what prompted me to move out of our bedroom.  Now she just feigns an interest in intimacy, especially when we are out with other couples, who, I'm afraid for her sake, see through her act.  Sometimes I find myself thinking when she's going through her machinations 'You think that these people don't know that you are heading straight for the refrigerator as soon as we get home?'
Slenderwife Slenderwife
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Re: A Fool Proof Plan?

I like the heroin-addicty look! I would not toss him out. But I don't require that level of fitness. Just want a healthy BMI. Just, don't be fat.
Diet Coach Diet Coach
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