Facts-in my case-have been brought to discussion.
Our oldest son-in college-is exactly the type to do just what you said. He did it. My younger son, my mom, my son's gf and I all backed him up and expressed our feelings, apart from facts. All done in a very lawyer-like fashion. It got us 15 days of resentful anger and spiteful words from him.
After that...nothing. Back to faking being the funny fatty...
He just expects things to go on like they are, though he knows I'm not happy and that all of us are worried. And though he himself is not happy either.
He's freaking scared.
I can't do more. Patience, counseling, facts, expression, communication,....at some point or other,. I've done them all.
I'm not one to quit easily-we've been married for 22 years-, but this is seriously hurting me.
I even told him that I didn't know how much longer I could put up with being like this...he changed strategy..
Anyway, it's always good to hear new approaches to the issue...maybe someday one of them will do the trick.