People come to this forum because they're frustrated and angry. In many cases I see a glimpse of hope among the responsible spouses. How realistic do you think having hope is? If you look at the success stories forum you will be reading a lot of success stories. Your spouse may talk a good game and he or she may drop 20 pounds which is actually no big feat. You get your hopes up thinking he or she is on the wagon and is made a commitment to behave responsibly when it comes to food.
In the movie Shawshank redemption the character Red played by Morgan Freeman admonished his fellow prisoners and especially Andy Dufresne that hope was a very dangerous thing. Let's face it folks, you are all just doing time. Andy Dufresne busted out of Shawshank prison and crawled through 400 yards of sewage to become a free man. Red waited until his parole. Escape is like a divorce and parole is like when your fat spouse eats him or herself to death.
Then there is clemency and clemency and exoneration are very rare and so are the chances of your spouse reforming on his or her own out of love or respect for you.
Some people have an eating disorder but that's rare. Most of these that spouses are simply people who won't do it takes to eat responsibly and look good and feel healthy for you and the rest of your family. That's reality say might as well face it.
If you're serious about getting some kind of help for your situation you might want to try calories per hour and while you're there you may want to deal with three of the participants. One is called Nir and the other two are JSABD and Diet Coach.
Nir runs the forum and he is a delightful and honest British gentleman who overcame a real eating disorder. The other two guys are Americans. Diet Coach is an academic type and JSABD is a powerful motivator and no-nonsense kind of guy.
You may be wasting your time sending your spouse there and you are definitely wasting your time thinking that somehow out of the blue things will change. The numbers I'm familiar with claim a 5% success rate for long-term weight loss. The service could be higher but I can't say for sure. The odds of a person becoming a reformed alcoholic are probably greater than a glutton becoming a reformed glutton.
Even if you are not overweight and you would like advice or insight regarding motivation and proper nutritional advice I'm sure you'd be welcome on calories per hour. In fact, I suspect that Nir may even create a special forum for loved ones of obese spouses.
I won't say, don't give up hope, because giving up hope maybe the best thing to do but before you give up hope exhaust all your options and put a reasonable time limit on how much you willing to put up with.