I'm not sure that Susan Powter is, er, the best model for how to talk about, or to, an overweight *loved* one (to quote this site's tag line)... Her self-indulgent rant (against, granted, what sounds like a self-indulgent and idiotic blog celebrating obesity) polarizes complex situations into a contest of self-righteous self-promotion.
It would be sad if any people coming to this site for support, insights, and a chance to vent, were to watch this video and decide--in a moment of frustration--to try out that tone on their overweight spouses (who, in most cases, are not out there writing blogs celebrating obesity but instead hurting, very much, inside...)
No, this would not be the way to talk to an overweight loved one. Someone that commits to Fat Acceptance is a whole other issue, which was the target of Susan's rant.
It's one thing to get discouraged, to have bad days, but the people who promote fat acceptance (meaning: nobody can criticize how I choose to care for/ neglect my health- not even my doctor) are promoting a lifestyle that kills. It's incredibly dishonest. Would you want someone telling your spouse "All those studies are junk science - have a donut!"? I sure wouldn't anyone encouraging hub's smoking.
Ultimately, fat acceptance is about giving up. It doesn't get worse than that.
Or fat acceptance isn't being a one track minded prick and it's about honestly not caring if the one you love doesn't look super model thin.
This whole site is stupid, disgusting and horribly incorrect.
There are people out there who just feel beautiful and sexy because they are larger. It's not giving-up. Most of these people have felt this way since they were young and didn't understand how the way the world works or how their bodies work for that matter. And those who love and accept bigger people aren't giving up either. People on this website have heard of fetishes, right? I mean there are some pretty sick fetishes out there, how is not wanting to feel the bones of your partner when you hug them wrong?
If it weren't for the following, I'd probably be in fat acceptance myself:
1. My uncle died of multiple obesity related causes. It was painful, humiliating and left him trapped indoors. Since he's a blood relative, those things are in my DNA as well. I'm scared of becoming diabetic, mainly because of the much longer time anything takes to heal.
2. Eventually I'm going to need new knees. I don't know what percentage of it is weight, and what percentage of it it is crashing my bike once a year (wet, unmarked railroad tracks SUCK!) but that conversation will go a lot better if I'm under 150 versus above 200. Medical Bias? absolutely, but it's a reality.
3.Above a certain weight, things are just unnecessarily hard for me. Keeping up with my husband walking. Putting shoes and socks on. Getting through my kitchen window when locked out .
4. I hate dealing with sleep apnea. It's a scary jolt to wake up from it, feeling like you just fell off a 6 story building into bed. I never want to feel that again.
The other thing: Susan used to be 260 herself. Ever hear a non-smoker talk about smokers? Similar behavior.
If whatever size you are allows you do to the things you want, and you're happy with it, there's nothing wrong with that. It seems from first impressions you're honest about it, which a lot of spouses weren't during the dating days.