First Step

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Greg328 Greg328
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First Step

Hey. I'm Greg's wife, Sophie. We've been talking, and I finally decided to do something about my weight. Diets, exercise, all the things I had been avoiding for years. Support is welcome, because I just don't have the willpower to do it alone. (if I did, I wouldn't be over 300 pounds in the first place.)


I'm currently 5 ft 3, and 316 pounds. Short term, I'd like to be under 300. Ultimately I want to be 130-140, which is just under the "overweight" range.

What time frame should I be looking at to lose the weight? I gained it all fairly quickly, but I doubt it will come off as fast.

I've taken the first step to getting out of the "fat wife" label. It'll take a few thousand more on a treadmill to get where I want to be, but I'm hoping I can do it.

yorktown38 yorktown38
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sad sad
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Wow, Sophie.  Can I just say that you seem like a wonderful and strong person in a really rich marriage? The fact that you have the courage to face the situation and to talk about it with Greg and also to seek help with all of us -- all that suggests that your soul is deeply healthy, and it's only a matter of your body catching up.

Whatever combination of diet and exercise you choose (most people around here are into low carb; you can't go wrong piling up the veggies and fruits; if you crave feeling full, try apples; walking together is a great way to get endorphins going and also to deepen your relationship; etc.) I'd also encourage you to think about the interior side of things.  Why do you think you gained the weight in the first place?  You say you gained it quickly -- stress?  Something else?  What gaping abyss took over your stomach and cried out to be filled with food?  I think the process of changing your habits and your outlook is more important than the speed with which you achieve it, even though it is always tempting to want immediate results.  But you also want to let your body adjust gradually, so that it doesn't crave to snap back (or 'out') again.  Be patient!  And steady.

I myself have found that therapy (not for weight--I'm thin--but for other issues) has always been really helpful.  And I see it as "normal"--it's human and healthy to be reflective about the regular stresses and challenges of life.  Also, Rose recommended "The Inner Weigh" DVD, and you might want to check it out.  There are clips on Youtube.  I don't know if it is your thing, but it might inspire.

Good luck!  There's much good will being sent your way!
Greg328 Greg328
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Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate it.

And just a few years ago, I was quite thin. I've always had a very large appetite and been drawn to unhealthy junk foods. I played a ton of soccer though, and had a very fast metabolism, which always kept the weight off. I stopped exercising, and was really just a bit sedentary, and now here I am with an extra 200 pounds.

And yes, it did take a bit of courage to finally want to change. Greg had left a page open for My Fat Spouse, and after reading through the site I've realized how he really feels about my body, but he was too kind to tell me up front. I never really paid much mind to my expanding figure, but a few weeks ago when I passed 300 pounds and had to buy a new scale, I realized I've really let myself go.


Do you think I'd be able to play any sports at my size?

I used to love playing soccer, but at 316 pounds I can barely maintain a brisk walk without becoming winded. I don't know if I'm in good enough shape to try it presently.

Greg328 Greg328
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And these diets are going to prove to be quite the challenge for me, but I'm hoping they won't be insurmountable.

Due to my schedule and lifestyle in general, we find ourselves eating out a lot. I constantly have cravings for some sort of fast food, and when I'm in that "comfort zone" I completely lose track of what I'm eating and how much of it. I'm thinking I'll need to ease myself off it slowly, almost like a recovering smoker or alcoholic, but ultimately I want to be able to have fast food and various other junk foods in moderation, and have enough control to resist the urge to binge completely.
AndreaT AndreaT
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If you decide to go with Paleo or Primal ( what's the difference? Primal allows some dairy)  your  tastes will definitely change, so give it some time. My husband tried to eat some of the unsweetened baking chocolate I've come to prefer, and gagged, lol.
For him it's  baby steps.  He's on atkins until he's free of his sugar addiction.  By the way, he's the not-as-fat spouse, though there's a lot less difference between us than there used to be. I started at 297 a few years ago myself, so I know what it's like.

I know atkins isn't the healthiest, but until I can get him into liking any vegetables other than carrots and green beans, and fish that isn't battered and fried, it's a starting point.
AndreaT AndreaT
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For what it's worth, If you were athletic before, you still will probably be able to exercise now. I was still able to get around on my bike at my starting weight. Just please, at least for now, be careful with your ankles. I thought it was just me until my friend gained a lot of weight,  but with that much weight on them it's very easy to twist an ankle and miss a week of workouts.  Not fun. It's also been one of my favorite things about losing  weight: if I step off a curb wrong or in a hole, I can go on instead of being hobbled for days!
Greg328 Greg328
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Yes, that was one of my concerns as well.

I was winded and fatigued after a mild walk the other day, I'm not sure if my ankles could handle anything more intensive.

Andrea, how long did it take you to lose the weight? Your previous situation seems quite similar to my current one, haha.

My email is soccergirl32897@gmail.com. I'd love it if you could send me an email and offer any advice. I'd much rather listen to a woman who knows what it's like to be larger than some muscular workout instructor who's been in fantastic shape all their life.
AndreaT AndreaT
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It's been a few years for me, usually losing about 30-50 pounds a year. Not the fastest but every anniversary at least 25 pounds less than the year before. The first 50  was without a doubt the hardest,  because that was having days so bad that "I could go face down into a cheesecake", knowing it wouldn't solve my problem,  but still having no other alternative than feeling awful until it passed. That sucked.

I know how much the " talk"  hurts, but I'm 100% sure I'll spend the rest of my life thanking hubs for saying it. Since then, I've seen obesity kill 2 people unnecessarily.  Because he did it, I don't have sleep apnea  anymore.I'm still obese but I weigh less now than I did through most of high school.I can't wait to get to get to 130, then he'll be on the end of a "talk" about his smoking!
Greg328 Greg328
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Yes, it did hurt to essentially be called fat, but I suppose it was necessary I'm nearly 3 times my high school weight. At reunions, some people don't even recognize me, and the one that do are shocked that I've let myself go.

30-50 pounds a year doesn't seem slow to me, as long as the weight stays off. I've done those radical, fast diets before and lost 25 pounds, yes, but when all said and done with those I usually end up 25 heavier than when I started.
yorktown38 yorktown38
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yorktown38 yorktown38
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Greg328 Greg328
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Yes, I do find myself using food as a form of comfort quite often. I never thought about the repercussions that could have, only that at that time, food made me happy and eased stress. Now I can't fit on planes, can't run like I used to, my sex life is poor, etc.

I want to develop some other hobby that I can go to for comfort besides eating, something that is actually beneficial for my health.
yorktown38 yorktown38
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Greg328 Greg328
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I'm very hesitant to start soccer now, just because of the amount of cardio involved. I'd be short of breath after running up the field once; to do so dozens of times would be suicide. If I do decide to play, I need to find decent workout gear as well. Workout clothes, shorts, etc. are very hard to find at my size. Evidently most clothing manufacturers figure that if a woman lets herself go to 316 pounds, she won't want to exercise anyways. Hopefully I can prove them wrong:)


Yoga seems like something I could get in a habit of doing. It would help me adjust to my body as well. I've only really been on the larger side for a relatively short period of time, and occasionally I find myself trying to move or do something as if I had my old physique, and consequentially I end up way off balance and clumsy due to not really "knowing" my current body and it's limitations. I think yoga could help me renew my sense of balance and get a general idea of my range of motion.
yorktown38 yorktown38
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Greg328 Greg328
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Yes, I checked out the site for information on the Primal diet. My concern is the fact that it involves manipulating your insulin levels. I have developed type II diabetes over the course of my weight gain, so I'm not sure if the insulin aspect will pose any problems.

And I have been trying to incorporate walking into my routine as well, there's a walking trail literally next to our house. I haven't been able to run very far. As usual, I experience shortness of breath after these walks, but lately I've noticed a lot of pain in my ankles and knees; why is this?
AndreaT AndreaT
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The soreness will happen for a while. In the meantime, ibuprophen helps a lot!
Greg328 Greg328
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Why am I getting so sore just from walking? I used some ibuprofen, but it only helped slightly. When I was 110 I could run miles at a time for soccer with no soreness at all. Now I'm having cramps, fatigue, and soreness in my joints and muscles. Is there any reason why this is more painful now?
Rose Rose
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Maybe your pain is caused by your shoes.  You need the proper support and cushioning for your feet, particularly if you are walking on uneven or very hard surfaces.  My advice is to get fitted professionally for a couple really good pairs of athletic shoes.  You may even need orthotics to begin with.  Rotate wearing the shoes so they have enough time to dry out between wearings.  
Also, take the Ibuprofen (I prefer naproxen sodium) about a half hour before you exercise.  It is always easier to get ahead of the pain than to play catch up.  Use whatever topical (Musterol or BenGay) on your joints at bedtime.
 If you plan to walk an hour a day, split it up into three or four sessions to begin with to give your body a chance to recover.  As you become more accustomed to walking, you can lengthen the sessions until you are walking the full hour at one shot.
Good Luck!
 
Rosie
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