"When I suggested divorce, people judged me. 'How could you end a marriage over sex?! There is more to a marriage than sex!' 'If sex is not an important part of marriage,' I'd answer my critics, 'Then why can't I have sex outside of my marriage?' No one had a logical response."
One definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result.
Marriage IS a lot more than just sex And parenting is a lot more than providing food and shelter for your kids But if you don't provide food and shelter for your children, you're a shitty parent no matter what else you do And if sex is missing from your marriage, your marriage sucks, even if you get everything else right Sex isn't everything, but it's important My period key doesn't work
I suppose 'I'm still your wife' is Becky's version of that formula. I've heard it many times in response to my suggestion that other couples our age are still intimate, that we are missing out on a wonderful experience. But who needs intimacy when you've got a whole table full of edible delights and a husband who has given up trying to rein in your appetite.
This brings to mind one of her responses, way back when I used to bring up her weight. "is that all you care about, looks?" or accusing me of being shallow. Since perusing this forum I've realized those are just a couple of the many excuses used to try defending obesity.
Then I went through a phase of silence, which she took as my acceptance of her obesity. A couple years back I brought it up again, as tactfully as I could manage (which apparently can never be done right, no matter what tact I take - another defense tactic) and we actually talked about her losing weight, eating healthier, getting some exercise.
And now she sort of tries to hide her unhealthy eating. Says the things that make me think she's trying to lose weight, but her appearance has not chanaged at all. I say "sort of" because the other morning I went into her to put a current insurance card in the glove compartment and found empty mcdonalds wrappers. 2 breakfast sandwiches, an oatmeal and coffee container. I could already hear her justifying the oatmeal as being healthy. I didn't bother talking to her about it.
My ex-gf used to justify eating certain foods by virtue of the fact they're "healthy". For instance, she loved Skinny Cow ice cream bars. I think each serving is like 100-150 calories, which is relatively low. The problem is, when you eat 4 of them. Then, it's no longer healthy.