Hello Everyone - This is my first post. I live with and own a house with my so-called 'boyfriend'. I use that term, although we don't spend anytime together and have not had intimate relations in a very long time. I knew him when we were much, much younger, and at that time he was fit and muscular. We finally got together about 8 years ago and he had become quite overweight. In the past eight years, that has blossomed into full obesity. He is HUGE. He seems to carry most of his weight in his stomach, but it is encroaching into every body part. When I say his stomach is huge, I mean HUGE. His stomach is also very hard, which is weird, as one would expect it to be loose and flabby.
He is in total denial about his weight. I know that the average adult needs around 2,000 calories each day to maintain their body weight. If you are overweight or obese, this number goes up proportionately. In order to continue gaining weight, the number of calories consumed goes up even more.
I no longer cook for him, as the healthy food that I prepare grosses him out. I get told, "This isn't what I was brought up eating". He refuses to eat fruit and when he eats vegetables, I have seen him put as much as a 1/4 cup of butter on mashed potatoes that already have butter and cream in them. He does the same with healthier veggies like carrots, cauliflower and broccoli.
He hides food like potato chips in the basement, but I know where his stash is and check it from time to time. There is a large wooden chest in the basement. One time, I opened it and it was full of empty Pringle's containers. He says he doesn't like sweets, but anytime I bring something sweet into the house as a treat for myself, it is mysteriously gone.
As I mentioned above, we have not been intimate in a very long time. He suffered from erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, plus there was the issue of his enormous gut to deal with.
I could probably stand to lose a few pounds myself (less than 10), but I do run 5 times a week and do yoga twice a week. I also watch what I eat, but if I want a wee treat from time to time, I do have it. Yesterday for example, I ran 24k in the morning and burned off more than 1700 calories, so the KitKat I ate mid-afternoon is not a biggie. If I ate them everyday, then it would be a different story.
I guess the reason I am ranting is because yesterday was my longest run ever and when I got home, he asked me why I had a sour look on my face. I said it was because I was tired and because my legs were starting to stiffen up. I was then treated to (a) a very fake clap and a sarcastic "good for you" and (b) a long winded diatribe about how tired he is.
He makes fun of the fact that I am training for a full marathon. He claims I am wasting my time and it could be better spent doing other things. I guess he wants me to stay home all the time and watch him commit a very prolonged suicide.
He sleeps so much. He gets home from work, puts fish fingers and tater tots in the microwave (yes, you read that correctly and it does look like sludge once it has been microwaved), mows it down standing at the kitchen counter, has a shower and goes to sleep. On the weekends, he sleeps the entire weekend.
Last weekend he helped me hang up clothes for an hour as I had done a massive closet clean up. If a hanger or an item of clothing dropped, I had to pick it up, as he has a great deal of difficulty bending over to pick things up. He had to have a three hour nap afterwards to recover.
Walking up a flight of stairs causes him to breathe very hard. He sweats a lot, has high blood pressure and always has bags under his eyes.... which I would assume is partially from the amount of sodium he ingests.
When I told him that he is facing a health crisis, he replied, "I will take my advise from a medical professional, thank you very much". Holy denial Batman!
You haven't mentioned if you have kids, together or not. If he is a boyfriend and there are no benefits or emotional, physical or financial ties whatsoever to being with him, I would keep running. Please read my story and you'll know why I say that.
Keep your chin up and don't let his misery be yours!
OMG!! When I read this I felt like I was reading my own story! No joke! For a second I thought I must have slept-blogged and written this in my sleep..lol.. and then I recognized a couple of slight differences (potato chips and a basement).
It is so terrible a situation. Geez, you know sometimes I really wish there was a local support group, like AA has. ...Because this is so difficult and only other people that are living it understand it and empathize. If you come out to your friends or family about it, you risk being called shallow, cruel or unloving. :(
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