As of 30th June, I am divorced.
Though it's been hard and it still is sometimes, after 23 long years of trying to be there for someone who was just wanting a cushion to even out life's unfairnes, I opted out. My sons are fine and i am starting to see the light...
I even have a new relationship...never thought about it or expected it...life, I guess, showing me that the divorce was just laying to rest was was already over years ago.
Good luck and happiness to all!
I hope this change brings you happiness or at minimum, peace. Best of luck on the developing relationship.
I don't know if I posted it yet or not but, I am also divorced now. I don't know if I can say I'm happier (not really my personality) but, I am definitely more at peace. I'm free to live my life how I want. Free to make my own happiness without the pointless struggle of coordinating life with a person that sees things on fundamentally opposing levels. I sleep better. I'm able to maintain the routines that work for me. I can spend time with whomever I want and do whatever I want.
Life is tough enough without the stresses of dealing with a gluttonous spouse. Life feels more balanced now between the stresses of taking care of my responsibilities and getting the escape I need (through exercise, hobbies, etc.). Coming home from work is now as it always should have been - an escape and respite.
Luckily, the ex and I are getting along great as friends, which is very good for the kids. It was actually one of the points made in the divorce class we were required to attend. They made a point about how kids are less affected by whether parents or married are not and much more affected dependent on if the parents are getting along and functional.
The best to you SM! Please stop by and update us now and then. We care and it's helpful for those that are unsure if or are on their way to taking the same step you and I have.
"Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live." -
Glad to hear from you, Wu!
Yes, I'm also getting along fine for now and the boys are taking it well. As you say, it's more important for them to see us getting along well than struggling with a marriage that was, to me, like dragging a dead ox tied to my ankles. I am moving in a few days and everything else is going fine.
The new relationship is proof that I was just going through the motions, otherwise I wouldn't even think of such a thing as starting anything.
But even if it didn't work out, I am finally my own person, with all the worries and inconveniences, sure, but not having to care for a grown man that will not look after himself. He was diagnosed with diabetes, hardly surprising. He seems to be doing things to improve, but at a really slow pace. Anyway, it's not my concern, though I do wish he'd take it to heart for our sons' sake.
Hugs to you and enjoy all you can.