Married to a fatling, with two affairs

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TrappedThinling TrappedThinling
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Married to a fatling, with two affairs

Hey all,

I've been lurking around these forums for a while, and feeling slightly better reading all your stories than I'm not alone in my misery. I've been married for 11 years (I married young) to someone who started out thin, attractive, sportsy and energetic, and who is now a very overweight fatling bordering on obesity (she's around 224 pounds for 5 feet 9 inches), who doesn't take care of herself in any manner, stopped doing sports or even going out entirely, has no energy, developed sleep apnea, is working on developing other health issues, and is basically a snappy bitch 24/7. We have two kids, a 8yo boy and a 5yo girl, they're both smart and thin, neither one is fat, they both do a lot of sports outside school and they seem to be happy kids. My wife, besides self-destructing with food and being too lazy to go out and do things with the kids, is a fairly good mother, is good about maintaining a united front with me when we decide something about the kids, cooks healthy meals for them, she loves the kids, they love her back, so I don't want to upset the apple cart. I'm also the sole income source for the family and I've been supporting her for as long as we've been married. I work my ass off while she does nothing all day once the kids are in school, but I've never complained.

However I'm ashamed to do anything with her, I don't want to go out and be seen with her,  every time we talk without the kids around she bitches at me, and when she comes on to me about once a week or so, I am grossed out and pretend to be tired. I feel like I'm on the wrong end of a major bait-and-switch.

I'm thin (170 pounds for 6 feet two) and I'm a pretty smily and confident person. My wife piled the pounds on quickly after we got married so all that resentment already existed back then, and I had an affair with a thin girl which she never knew about. I put an end to it once I decided to have a family. These days, once in a while attractive women still chat me up and it takes a lot of self-discipline to ignore it. Once I ended up at a convention (I go to a few for my job) in the hotel room of a very attractive, thin, feminine 40yo who had chatted me up, and I said goodnight and walked away. It wasn't easy.

I've had "the talk" with my wife about her weight and my concerns for her health, I've tried all sorts of things, same as everyone here it seems (gym, going on walks, only having healthy food in the house..) and she has all sorts of stalling techniques to avoid directly telling me no, but yet nothing ever happens and my resentment and the feeling I'm wasting my one life keeps building.

Late last year a woman who's close to my feminine ideal flirted with me ("offline", not on the computer) and I finally decided to pursue it. She's knows I'm married, she's thin, mid thirties, feminine, takes care of her looks, only speaks to say something intelligent, and above all she has a great and positive personality. She's got kids of her own and doesn't want to be in a relationship again due to very bad history with men, but still has needs. She also has a power job and interesting stories about it all the time. We became sex buddies and it's still ongoing, it's been over a year now. I can't begin to explain how good it feels to be desired by an attractive, feminine and very smart woman, to the point that I can barely walk in the door of her place before being jumped on. She's not after money (she makes more than I do!), there are no strings attached, no head games, we meet up for sex and that's that. Having this affair has done a lot to restore my self-confidence and blowing off steam from being unwilling to leave my wife since that would also probably mean leaving the kids I adore.

My sex buddy isn't always available, which is normal - she has a job and kids of her own. So this summer I met another woman, also mid thirties, also thin, great looking, with a genuine, very outgoing and energetic personality. Very different looking in every way than my mistress but just as hot. This time I'm the one who pursued her, and, it must be some sort of personal best, even taking into account my sleeping around days before getting married, we went from meeting to being in bed in about 4 hours total. I guess I needed some reassurance that hooking up with that first woman wasn't a fluke, that I could seduce even if the woman didn't give herself up on a platter, and that I am still actually attractive and don't actually deserve to just be with my fatling. She also has a high libido, no kids, single, she does know I'm married, she has a job as well, not after money. She would be happy to enter a relationship but I've told her upfront that I won't leave my family, ever. Yet that affair is also still ongoing.. Again I barely can walk in the door before we end up in bed. In 11 years, even though I support my fatling wife and even do quite a bit around the house, she has never done so much as make me a coffee (a stupid example, I don't need a maid, but just a sign of attention), even when we were dating and she was in the "selling the idea of marriage" period. I thought it was normal and I didn't deserve any attention.. yet both mistresses are full of small attentions, one of them even always has a coffee ready, stirred up and all, when I visit. I purposedly try to avoid an emotional affair so I don't discuss issues or my life much with them, but they're still both much more encouraging and motivating than my legitimate wife. How f-ed up is that.

I call one when the other isn't available, so basically I end up having sex with a thin, feminine girl 4 times a week on average, while remaining married to a bitchy unappreciative entitlement queen fatling, for the sake of the kids. I do use protection all the time. I'm not trying to set myself up to be found out so she takes the decision to divorce and free me - I really will be sticking around to be present for my kids and ensure they grow up healthy and happy like they are now. I guess my main concern is that I feel no guilt whatsoever and that I actually feel so much better about myself.

I have zero hope that my fatling will ever lose the weight, as she is still ballooning up further and using stalling technique after stalling technique to avoid direct confrontation on the issue, or restore her pre-marriage personality; so I have every intention to keep these affairs or even having new ones.
mountain mountain
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

Hello and welcome here,

as sad as it sounds, I believe you have found the best way to live your life. If you wouldn't have kids....I would say divorce asap.....but with kids.....if you can keep going like this until the kids are adults.....do it. Divorce is very hard for kids and if you and your wife can be civil and polite to each other, than stay in that marriage and raise the kids.
And I feel for you.....starting out with a beautiful, energetic, sporty woman and ending up with a land whale...sad.
Good luck
Proud Plumpette Proud Plumpette
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by TrappedThinling
This is heartbreaking- for your wife. You're gonna have to quit your job soon though, and work from home, pretty soon she'll be so big she'll need help wiping. You're not gonna force your kids to do that, are you? I think you should reconsider cheating on your fat queen, and accept that you married someone who was fat all along. You got duped! I explained in another thread that we are actually a virus and we incubate in the form of a thinling until there is commitment. Your wife played this out well, to end up staying home and doing fuck all while you work. Sucker! The affairs have got to stop. Your wife may be cheating on you with Sara Lee, but most men like a little girl on girl action and it doesn't give you the right to cheat on her with sexy ladies.  You never know- if your mistresses came over with cheesecake and coffee- she might let everyone in on the fun. Get something established with all of you, see? Your wife can be the bouncy mattress and you and your thinling mistresses can handfeed her cheesecakes while you bounce.

I think you're incredibly shallow, but all of this could change if you just gain the weight with her. It's natural for people to fatten as their lives go on. But if you aren't willing to do what's right, atleast be honest with her and let her have a go at these women.
Matilda Tuesday Matilda Tuesday
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by TrappedThinling
Good of you to delurk. I doubt anybody here really has any trouble understanding your situation. There are probably some who envy you for doing what it takes to get your needs met. Your solution seems complicated and archaic. Divorce no longer has the stigma it once carried. Divorce is a practical and realistic solution to a bad marriage. While I believe it is true that the breaking up of families is harder on children than it is on adults, I wonder about the effects of people in miserable marriages on children.
Proud Plumpette Proud Plumpette
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

Getting his needs met? He has everything he needs at home: a fat wife who cooks AND eats for him too! That's awfully thoughtful of her, to try and save him time and eat for him. Maybe he should try eating for her as well, then he'll no longer be a trapped thinling but a happy glutton.
Proud Plumpette Proud Plumpette
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

*Orchestrated intro to Married with Children*

Fat and marriage,
fat and marriage.
Go together like a horse and carriage.
This, I tell you brooother:
Your wife will turn into her mooo-ther!

Fat and marriage,
fat and marriage.
It's a fact you simply can't disparage:
Once you get commiiiitment,
Her weight will never stay consistent!
WuKong WuKong
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by mountain
mountain wrote
Hello and welcome here,

as sad as it sounds, I believe you have found the best way to live your life. If you wouldn't have kids....I would say divorce asap.....but with kids.....if you can keep going like this until the kids are adults.....do it. Divorce is very hard for kids and if you and your wife can be civil and polite to each other, than stay in that marriage and raise the kids.
And I feel for you.....starting out with a beautiful, energetic, sporty woman and ending up with a land whale...sad.
Good luck
I'm with Mountain on this one.

As I said on the Home page, good on you!

You think a lot better of your wife than I do. If I say something that offends you when attacking the problems your wife is creating, that is not my intention. My intention is to attack the source of the problem(s) in this relationship.

You're wife doesn't deserve you. You are the sole provider and you take care of yourself. What a parasite! This is how I see it. If I wanted a maid, THAT is what I'd pay for. If I wanted a prostitute, THAT is what I'd pay for. If I wanted a nanny, THAT is what I'd pay for. Your wife is none of the above (or a poor one of any of these at the most) and thus, in my book, worth less in this relationship. How does she earn a life of being provided for by another person???

SHE's the one that's put you into a corner and you've made the best of it.

I'll leave it at that for now.

I hope you never get caught. It won't be fair for you to be the one given the worst punishment if this comes to divorce.

Good luck, buddy!
"Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live." -
  --  Socrates
TrappedThinling TrappedThinling
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by TrappedThinling
Proud Plumpette thanks for the genuine guffaws I got from your posts, you're awesome.

Mountain and Wukong thanks for understanding. I know it's a convoluted solution but I really do not want to become a drive-by dad. I guess I don't really care if I get taken to the cleaners in a divorce, even looking up at broke after a divorce would still be better than this and I'd know how to quickly get back on my feet. Losing the kids would really be horrible for me though.

Matilda I agree this is a convoluted solution. At the moment we're doing fine with the kids and they seem genuinely happy so I don't want to change that.

I actually saw both women today and, I may be shallow but, especially with the one I've been seeing for a year - who always has priority if both are available - the sex and the little attentions do a world of good to the brain. What really boggles the mind is that while she has a demanding job and takes care of her kids entirely on her own, she still can maintain a great figure, make time for us and she isn't bitchy.. so it's not like it's against the laws of nature. Mistress #2 apologized today that when I saw her last on friday, she hadn't had time to shave her legs and that it was disrespectful to me. I hadn't even noticed! I'm so used to my wife not even combing her hair that I wouldn't even register something like that anymore.

A female shopowner (I'd say late 30's, thin and attractive in any case) flirted with me and followed me out of her shop today to talk for a minute. Just as an observation, I'm only normal looking - except thin and tall and I guess nice. She said I was the first nice guy that she talked to today. Is it really this bad for you non-grossly-overweight women in your 30's and 40's? Not a drunk, not fat, good body hygiene and not an ass is attractive? Surely there are plenty of guys that fit that bill. I guess they all may be toiling away at their job to pay for hardwood floors and SUVs for their fatlings. I'm not bitter.
Married2ASweatHog? Married2ASweatHog?
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

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Proud Plumpette Proud Plumpette
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

Don't you be dissin' the fat momma's out there. I make sure my kids get everything they want. It's far more modern and convenient to simply buy your kids something when they complain. I just don't have the time or energy to actually do something about their problems. I figure just buy them what they want, feed them what they want, and they'll figure it all out when they're old enough. That's what they education system is for, right? These days, there is no such thing as a parent. We leave all our parental responsibilities up to teachers, television, and the other deluded, mercury-doped children our kids hang around with. Don't worry! This isn't a bad thing! It's just the governments way of ensuring the next generation is as docile as possible. I think it's great that they're injecting obedience into our little ones.
LiveLifeWell LiveLifeWell
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by TrappedThinling
Nobody here would ever fault you for doing what you're doing, however, I think you should be careful because you seem to have a lot going on and there are two likely scenarios:  #1 You become too bold and leave behind some sort of evidence, your wife will become suspicious and begin snooping, you know the rest.  #2 You meet someone that you DO become emotionally involved with and you're willing to leave regardless of the consequences (sp?).  Nobody ever thinks this will happen, but TRUST me it eventually will.

You should have a back-up plan in place just in case.

yourhumbleservant yourhumbleservant
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by TrappedThinling
Trapped Thinling, good for you!  Looks like your making the best of a dire situation.  Just curious, does Mistress1 know about Mistress2, LOL!  Don’t get caught!  If you do get caught and that leads to divorce, would you be comfortable explaining to your children when they’re older that mom and dad divorced because mom became obese and that you were cheating because of mom’s issues?
One definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result.
WuKong WuKong
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by LiveLifeWell
I would also add that the story has been told too many times to ignore but, if you think things would be better if you got into a committed relationship with one of these women that is treating you right, you've got another thing coming. More likely than not, it will only stay this good for them so long as you're not "hooked/trapped". In other words, don't change the status quo if you like the way things are right now with these mistresses.
"Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live." -
  --  Socrates
TrappedThinling TrappedThinling
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by yourhumbleservant
Mistress #1 (the one with kids and the one I give priority to if both are available) knows about Mistress #2, however Mistress #2 doesn't know about Mistress #1. If this does come to a divorce I will explain to the kids that I cheated, I'll probably keep my reasons to myself, though, I don't want to disparage their mother to them.

TrappedThinling TrappedThinling
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by WuKong
WuKong, you're correct, as soon as I divorced and got into a committed relationship with either, I expect that the same cycle would repeat. They would probably get pregnant, stop working and never go back, pile pounds on and keep them, and stop taking care of themselves or doing anything. I know they're putting their best face on - even mistress 1 as much as she denies wanting a relationship. I'm just commenting that they're proof that it isn't against the laws of nature to be in your thirties, have a job and be attractive, even after multiple pregnancies, and even in an environment as hostile to staying thin as this country has become. As sad as it is, I think if I ever divorce I'll just do my best to raise my kids and be there for them, and see fuck buddies.
LiveLifeWell LiveLifeWell
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

See...this proves my point!  Marriage is completely and totally bogus.  There seems to be no hope!  

I will say this though, I am in my early forties, completely in shape (have never been overweight, except baby weight that I took off quickly), I have a pretty decent job and raised my two sons on my own for almost 10 years and if I did ever get re-married - and that's a pretty big IF - I would continue to work because I'm not a child that needs to be supported, and would remain in shape because that's who I am as a person.  I like to look good and wear nice clothes.  So Wu and Trapped I think you are making a very general statement that does not apply to all women, yes, probably many, but not all.  Although rare, there are couples in the world that consist of two attractive partners who genuinely care about the other's wants and needs and who operate as true partners.
TrappedThinling TrappedThinling
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

LiveLifeWell, I don't mean to generalize. There are men and women out there who are adults and want to be equal partners. You don't find out until after commitment though, so I don't think I would want to risk it again.
TrappedThinling TrappedThinling
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by TrappedThinling
I had strong words with thinling mistress #1 (the one who was my favorite) so I ended things with her. I replaced her with thinling mistress #3, I didn't beat my personal best as it took about five hours to bed her but still fine. #3 knows I am married but doesn't know about #2 and #2 still won't have known about #1, and doesn't know about #3.
Chevalle D'Or Chevalle D'Or
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

Have you gone a little too far? Now your'e a player and a slut. I have gone from feeling sorry for you to disgusted. Hope I never meet you myself. Since I am thin, hot, and intelligent. And hate to be played.
Heather Heather
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Re: Married to a fatling, with two affairs

In reply to this post by LiveLifeWell
Are you sure your wife doesn't know about your two side pieces? I wonder if she does and is resentful, thus resisting your efforts to get her to lose weight.

I think it was Matilda who mentioned that growing up with divorced parents is stressful, but so is living in a home with parents who no longer care for one another.  You might want to rethink whether divorce is an option.

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