Not a spouse YET, but...

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FutureSpouse FutureSpouse
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Not a spouse YET, but...

...I'm here to get my ass kicked, in a positive way!  I am a 45-year-old woman, 5'2" and 185 pounds, never married, never even been on a date, not here to whine about it, just here to take ACTION!  I used to be one of those whiners about unconditional love.  I want to thank all the posters here for sharing their stories, because I GET it now.  I understand how painful it must be to love and resent someone at the same time, to lose not only sexual attraction but also respect because the fat spouse keeps promising to change but fails to follow through.  I am too young to feel this old, I'm tired of sitting on the couch, this place inspires me, so KICK AWAY!   :D
popsicletoes popsicletoes
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

Hey chickie,
I was basically in the same condition you are in a few years ago--you can do, anyone can do it, it just takes time and determination, and you sound pretty determined to me.
I like what Jackie Warner says in her book "This is Why You're Fat..." about approaching weight loss as if one were an athlete. Go to bed early, get up early, build muscle, no sugar over five grams, eat often, get in some cardio. Move every day. The exercise routines provided in the book are doable and very effective. No gym memberships required!
You, my dear, are ready to embark on the most exciting time of your life if you can let go of the need to surround yourself with fat--it's softness, fluidity and resilency feels like home, comfort, and Mom. I have cried like a baby during this weight loss and at times thought I was going to die from  my emotions. But I didn't. I got stronger.
I look forward to reading more your posts.
Blessings to you and your family.
Mojo Mojo
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

In reply to this post by FutureSpouse
FutureSpouse wrote

...I'm here to get my ass kicked, in a positive way! ... not here to whine about it, just here to take ACTION!  ... I GET it now. ...  I am too young to feel this old, I'm tired of sitting on the couch, this place inspires me, so KICK AWAY!   :D

Welcome aboard! You've just taken your first step into a larger-ugh, I mean, smaller-world.


The next step is to realize that real change, to be real, must come from within.

The doors are open.  Come right on in, kick your shoes off, stay for a spell...
Μολὼν λάβε!
FutureSpouse FutureSpouse
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In reply to this post by popsicletoes
Thank you, popsicletoes!  I do suspect that becoming smaller will be disorienting and even threatening at first, but I am tired of the heartburn, the aches and pains, the stiffness and hobbling at the end of the day.  I appreciate your advice, I agree that one can become fit without a gym membership.  I live in a very hilly neighborhood and intend to do a lot of walking, plus lots of exercises at home to build my strength!  I also am dumping the sugar and flour, of which I have eaten BOATLOADS, and look forward to being alert and ambitious again, as I was the last time I tried a (lower-sugar) diet.  I'll keep reading the posts on here!  
FutureSpouse FutureSpouse
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In reply to this post by Mojo
Thank you, Mojo!  (Love that name!)  This is a good time for me to start.  I've actually gotten sick of junk food, to the point that I can barely eat it anymore.  I'm tired of feeling lousy every morning.  I will be here for quite some time, as it will take me awhile to lose 60-70 pounds!
sad sad
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In reply to this post by FutureSpouse
Good luck, FutureSpouse!    I can tell that you have what it takes.  I think that you should read Mojo's other posts, too, if you haven't already done so--he has a way of putting things on the line with firmness and compassion and humor...  Keep us all posted, o.k.?
FutureSpouse FutureSpouse
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

Thank you sad, I've actually read a lot here, I've lurked for months and finally was inspired to join! Yes, I will report my progress! Today I ate protein and drank water and stayed away from the sugars and starches, and it was worth it just to feel calm and alert instead of sluggish and apathetic. This is do-able, one meal at a time!
sad sad
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

viking viking
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

In reply to this post by FutureSpouse
Love your personal call to action.  Go for it!

However, your handle "FutureSpouse" leaves me wondering.
Is "spouse-dom" (AKA marriage) the only  acceptable goal!

Yes, having a friend, a partner, and a bed fellow is great!  I am not denying that.
But must it always end in marriage?
Is marriage the highest or only form of relationship success?!

As you claim having read and learned much on this site, I would think that one of several things you would come away with would be that many "let them selves go" sarting with the wedding cake, and that once in a marriage, it is very hard to leave it.

I am not saying that your goal should be to be promiscuous.  Merely, that in this, the 21 century, there are many options along the continuum between "jumping in the sack with every Tom, Dick, and Harry" and "til death do us part".
FutureSpouse FutureSpouse
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

@viking, no, I am not fixated on marriage, my username is light-hearted and chosen in the spirit of this site, where one can discuss weight problems in the relationship even if one is not married. I have never even dated so I am in no hurry.   :)
mountain mountain
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

In reply to this post by FutureSpouse
Hi there and I am so happy that you "get it"!

If you are going on a weightloss/gainhealth trip and don't want to be hungry, go and check out Dr. McDougall's website (dr.mcdougall.com). This is how I eat and I love it and feel amazing. It is all natural, real food...no expensive supplements or other crap like that....just real food.
Good luck and keep us updated!
Gluttons Rarely Reform Gluttons Rarely Reform
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

Are you sure you want a butt kicking? The greatest fattitude adjuster on the planet can be found by clicking this link. http://www.caloriesperhour.com/forums/forum54/
hourglassrunner hourglassrunner
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Re: Not a spouse YET, but...

I know I'm bringing up an old post but I just took a look at that site and WOW are some people delusional.  The fat people who claim they are happy at their size are the same ones who say mean things about me because I am not fat.  My own sister, for example, tells me I am shallow for working out and eating right.  She says I care too much about looks and that women are meant to "have curves".

I HATE that term btw.  Curves?  I HAVE curves!  I am 36-25-34 (my hips are a bit bony I suppose, but that's just who I am).  She on the other hand... well... I don't even know how big she is because she'd not likely let me measure.  The waist has to be at least ten inches bigger.  I suppose she is curvy too because a circle has curves and that's what she looks like.  A heavy woman with a beach ball for a stomach.

She has even told me to "get help" for an eating disorder because I'll choose a salad over a burger.  (Not ALL the time, but more often than not).  Why is it okay for her to say these things to me but not for me to tell her the truth about HER eating disorder?
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