OH just doesn't care

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FedUp FedUp
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OH just doesn't care

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Coach Coach
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Re: OH just doesn't care

It sounds like he may have low testosterone. Before you throw in the towel have him get tested.

As to cheating, if he has just turned into a slug, by all means cheat and rub it in his face.
FedUp FedUp
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Re: OH just doesn't care

Coach, thanks for responding. When he had his physical last year, he said his testosterone was normal. I find it hard to believe, given his weight, and lack of interest. I'm seeing a counselor next week to figure out how to deal with all this. I haven't said anything to him yet, because his is Mr on-the-defensive and does not take criticism well. I think he might be aware of my frustration because he has not mega snacked in front of the TV the last few nights (he probably waits until I go to bed lol). If I cheated, or I left, knowing him he would do every thing in his power to get my kids, and part of my disability. I've been thinking that if it doesn't get any better (and for the majority of the posts I read on here, it doesn't), my youngest will be out of high school in 5 years - make an exit then. I so wish it were different! He does not resemble the man I married.
Coach Coach
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Re: OH just doesn't care

A lot of fat guys surf porn. Check the history on his computer if you can. If you can find kiddie porn you can blackmail him or send him to prison. I know that sounds harsh but it could save his life.

If he is going to resist your intervention and concerns, his being fat is the least of his moral flaws.  He sounds like a very selfish person and most fatties are. The food he eats are treats. Treats are used as rewards. He is constantly rewarding himself for sitting and being a slug. Fat people have a sense on entitlement.

I think you need to lay all your cards on the table.  I would reccomend that you lay down the law about junk food and not allow it in the house. The junk food is bad for your kids and along with him being a horrible role model, these kids are being set up for a life of slothful and gluttonous behavior.

Get him on the forum and I would be glad to "coach" him!
FedUp FedUp
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So, get this. I went to my therapist, who I have known a long time. She has been a big help in the past. I tell her what's going on, and she relates that she is going through a similar situation (tubby hubby). She then tells me "I need to look deeper and see him for who he really is" and "the media has sexualized body image blah blah blah". She basically implied, IMHO, that I am a shallow selfish bitch for not really seeing him and wanting physical attraction! The bitch. If I didn't care about him for who he is (or was), I would have been gone a long time ago!! Maybe she's projecting some of her own stuff onto me. I can't believe she totally fucking invalidate my feelings, and made me the shallow one. I have an appointment in a couple weeks, and it's going to be my last. I'm going to tell her what I thought of her comments and bid her goodbye.
On the subject of porn. I caught him about 12 years ago. He left a Kleenex on the floor next to our family computer! It was almost like he did it on purpose. If he is doing it now, he is covering very well. It would be tough to catch him.
Coach Coach
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Re: OH just doesn't care

FedUp wrote
So, get this. I went to my therapist, who I have known a long time. She has been a big help in the past. I tell her what's going on, and she relates that she is going through a similar situation (tubby hubby). She then tells me "I need to look deeper and see him for who he really is" and "the media has sexualized body image blah blah blah". She basically implied, IMHO, that I am a shallow selfish bitch for not really seeing him and wanting physical attraction! The bitch. If I didn't care about him for who he is (or was), I would have been gone a long time ago!! Maybe she's projecting some of her own stuff onto me. I can't believe she totally fucking invalidate my feelings, and made me the shallow one. I have an appointment in a couple weeks, and it's going to be my last. I'm going to tell her what I thought of her comments and bid her goodbye.
On the subject of porn. I caught him about 12 years ago. He left a Kleenex on the floor next to our family computer! It was almost like he did it on purpose. If he is doing it now, he is covering very well. It would be tough to catch him.
A lot of therapists are not the picture of mental health and they also buy into the poltical correctness of our times. How good of the therapist is she if she can't get her eating machine to man up and behave responsibly.

Our reaction to fat bodies has nothing to do with society's view of the world. Our reaction to unhealthy bodies is hard wired and your shrink should know that.  Also that fat man musk is a turn off on a neuro-chemical level.

The fact is you are angry and being angry is also polititcally incorrect these days. You have legitimate reasons to be angry and frustrated so there is no need to apologize for your emotions and feelings. The truth is, you tubby hubby is shitting all over you and your kids.

Here's is what you should do IMO. It takes about 5000 calories to maintain 300 pounds. A man should be eating 2500 on average. If he is tall and active he should eat more.   Ask him for all the reasons for why he can't eat a responsible amount of calories per day every day.  This technique works on liars.  He may come up with the slow metabolism bullshit and that is bullshit so don't fall for it. Human bodies cannot defy the laws of physics.

Ask him all the reason why from this day forward he cannot eat the correct amount of food and move more. If he gives you shit for trying to help him ignore him for 2 or three weeks and talk on the phone to friends about hot guys so that he can hear you and talk what a gross pig tubby hubby is and be within eat shot. If he says anything, let him have it. Unload on him and don't mince words. If he protests, show him no mercy and don't allow him a graceful way out like you would with a naughty child.

Ban all junk food.

Monogamy sucks in a lot of ways. Screw other guys and rub his nose in it or make him suspect that you are fucking around. Get a male friend and hang with him at home and do stuff with him and your kids. Humiliate this loser until he decides to act like man.