This might not be the best place to ask this question, but I know this guy through my family from years ago, we were friends until two years ago, we were both in relationships, soon after that I had a car accident and my world fell around me I weighed 180 lb at the time, I gradually started to gain lost of weight (medication/depression, I mean 70lb (35kg)
anyway he got in touch with me again and we have been talking again, and he wants to meet, he says he loves me, and I'm this huge girl with a scar on her face, I wasn't even slim to start with, I want to meet him, But I don't think rejection will help (since I'm recovering from depression caused by the accident) I told him what happened, told him I gained weight, he said he doesn't care, he saw (My face) on the cam as well, But then again the weight is not on my face, Please tell me what to do? He wants to meet, I do too, But, I hate myself for being so fat (250lb) and it's stopping me living.''
Now I met him, he said he loves me, and help me, we even talked about sex, I asked him if he would wait, he said he'd wait as long as I want
He was perfect, and much better looking than I expected, My question is, what if he's doing all this out of pity? Would he feel bad later and regret not finding someone thinner? should I break up with him and say I need to concentrate on getting my life back together? please spare few seconds and think for me because my head is about to explode!
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Sure, you could get hurt, but what would you rather live with the rest of your life: the memory of having taken a chance at being loved but lost, or that of having known neither love nor loss-but only the thought of what "might" have been?
Sorry I can't think for you, but If I were you, I'd go for it! After all what have you got to lose? You've got much more better things to gain? If he likes you as you are now, think about how much more he will like you when you fully recover and get back to where you used to be. You both could work on it together. This might just be the opportunity you need that will help motivate you to get yourself back together. I wouldn't let it pass you by, if I were you.
I hope your head doesn't explode...I've had that happen before, I wouldn't recommend it...it's kind of messy!
(Hey Tuesday! We really need to add a smiley face "Exploding Head Icon" to the icon palate-it would really come in handy here
Oh Mandy, most of the unhappiness on the old MFS forum and in my own marriage has come from a drastic change in weight an behavior for the worst. The problem has been one of bait and switch. I don't think it was premeditated in my wife's case, she didn't intend to gain sixty or seventy pounds, quit exercising, get depressed, eat poorly, etc. Well, that's all for another post. The best case scenario I see for you is to work on yourself and what's making you unhappy and take this guy along for the ride. Tell him you'll drop him off where ever he wants along the way and if he goes the distance with you, great. I'm going to predict that you don't want to become another obesity statistic and your going to do something about your weight. It could be a good looking guy at your side will give you a little motivation. In any case your situation is not really the MFS norm. Your presenting yourself as is, you have some inkling as to what obesity can do in a relationship where one is overweight and the other is not. Proceed with caution yes, but proceed none the less. Be honest with him, but don't go on and on about. Your always welcome to stop by here and dump this stuff on us, but my guess is this guy will tire of it quickly if you lay it on too thick.