Stephen Fry on trolls...

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Andrea T Andrea T
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Stephen Fry on trolls...

Mr Blue Mr Blue
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

If you are alluding to the recent posts of FB I applaud your attempt at admonishment.  I have been watching with increasing dismay as this once helpful forum has been hijacked by those cruel enough to make light of a serious problem.  Have they no sense of shame or decency?  I can't speak for others but I have been avoiding posting for fear of someone making a mockery of my concerns, which I will not rehearse here.  Suffice to say that I am struggling to make sense of and cope with my wife's compulsive overeating, which has RUINED our marriage.  I used to receive support and understanding from you and the other members of this online community.  Trolls are now threatening that one source of relief.
loveinaturtleshell loveinaturtleshell
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

I just post anyway, hoping someone will jump in and reply to *me*.   If several people posted when he did, much of what he says would be diffused.   You can always post no matter if he is there or not.    There are trolls everywhere.   You just send them to the Billygoat Bridge, and go on from there...LIATS
Mme.X Mme.X
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

In reply to this post by Mr Blue
Andrea, Mr. Blue, responsible Others,

So what do you think we should do?  Option one is to ask an administrator to delete FB's postings, although he will just come back under another name, M2, Diet Coach, whatever.  I guess my own take on him is complicated.  Yes, he seeks attention and just wants to turn the site into another blog for himself, and he discourages those with genuine problems to post.  So that is an argument to delete him, and keep deleting him (but that will also make him happy--he will feel like a martyr! just as this exchange has him jumping for joy--me me me me me....all about me!!) On the other hand, I guess I also see him as someone who is also working out his own issues with a fat gay spouse or a Fundamentalist mother who rejected him and that creative fiction is the way that he can reach out and explore his feelings, try on personae, rail against the world.  Because for all his fictions, he is, I think, also exploring a form of radical honesty--embracing that heightened political incorrectness that makes his parodies and comments occasionally very funny (I'm sorry, but his take on Holly Petreus made me laugh, and I needed that laugh).  Yes, he's a troll, but he's an interesting troll.

This, of course, might be my problem: that I find things interesting that I ought to "delete."  My husband is now pursuing the individual counselling route.  I know, some small still voice within me knows, that if what I want is to be passionately desired and romantically affirmed, then I better get out.  And yet, and yet, just knowing that he might be stepping forward and discovering something about himself, and being curious as to what it is he might discover, finding that all just plain interesting because I find him an interesting person, makes me tolerate what I probably shouldn't (or, as Blue would say, what I should, but for the wrong reasons...)  
Madame X (detail), John Singer Sargent, 1883–84, oil on canvas, 82 1/8 x 43 1/4 in. (208.6 x 109.9 cm), Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
loveinaturtleshell loveinaturtleshell
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

Madame X -- Marriage is an  adventure, isn't it?  I liked your last paragraph particularly.

FB's writing reminds me of Jonathon Swift's "A Modest Proposal"....outlandish irony which reveals a deeper truth.    There is nothing wrong with truth.  

Yes, his take on Holly Patreus was funny!   FB kinda says what many people feel,really.  

I saw a very very large woman waddling into the grocery store.   I can see she is beyond knowing she needs to lose weight.   In the store, she was breathing so heavily I wondered if she did not need a respirator.    Yet, I could see she was a good person, she smiled alot....she is probably at peace with herself.   FB would say she is truly accepting her fate.  

Anyone who posts here about their feelings as to having a fat spouse, I will reply.     I too am struggling with knowing my partner is in a different place, one I cannot join him in...   LIATS

Mme.X Mme.X
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

This post was updated on .
Hi, LIATS - We crossed postings there...  thanks for your words!

I think I would draw the line at comparing Brady with Swift.  "A Modest Proposal" is subtle in the way it grows artfully into its outrageousness, and subtlety is not one of Brady's gifts.

[I originally posted more here, but then read Andrea's posting and decided to delete.  Have a good day, everyone.]
Madame X (detail), John Singer Sargent, 1883–84, oil on canvas, 82 1/8 x 43 1/4 in. (208.6 x 109.9 cm), Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
Andrea T Andrea T
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

This news story brought Brady and his laundry load of sock puppets  to mind  West Viginia paper publishes  bigoted rant

I think the paper made the right decision. As long as  Brady can't  go back and delete his post to try to appear reasonable I think the site should allow him to spew anything he wants. It's better to have hatred out in the open than hidden.  Perhaps a dismissive response to when he gets out of control will help avoid confusion, like the disclaimers that they use on some TV shows:

"FB's  opinions do not reflect those of others on the site. However  he's entertaining and won't go away. Discretion  is advised before replying and/or feeding the troll"

And LIATS, check out his most recent article  on his Blog to see where he's coming from , titled "Fat Bastard's Practical Guide to Women".  He makes Rush Limbaugh look like  Alan Alda.

He mentioned once that he was trying to "solve the puzzle" of obesity. Over the years I've been trying to solve a puzzle of my own - what drives people to bully. I used to pity bullies because I figured  they did it because there was some sadist in their lives  that left them needing someone to vent their frustration on . After research, I realized its just the same old quest for power over others.  
Mr Blue Mr Blue
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

In reply to this post by Mme.X
I am appalled at your husband's recent violent outburst, Mme.X.  His conduct is now beyond the pale, thoroughly reprehensible.  There is simply NO excuse for physical contact of any sort.  It is not only unmanly, but demonstrates that he has forgotten who you are: his precious BRIDE.  Somebody needs to remind him that he stood at the altar of God with you and promised to have and hold you for the rest of his life.  Therapy's fine, but in the end he needs to come to terms with what it means to be husband, which I have said before.  His sexual hangups are one thing and remain a complete mystery to me; but physical abuse is taking things to an entirely different and intolerable level.  Not even the Holy Mother Church requires a spouse to live with someone prone to violence (and this is his 2nd offense); though divorce is still out of the question.  I will continue to pray for the 2 of you and all married couples.  Happy Easter.  
Mme.X Mme.X
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

Thanks, Mr. Blue.  I don't know about "beyond the pale"--but certainly he crossed a line which changes things.  
Mr Blue wrote
There is simply NO excuse for physical contact of any sort.
I don't think you quite meant that.
Mr Blue wrote
Therapy's fine, but in the end he needs to come to terms with what it means to be husband, which I have said before.  
Yes, hence the therapy.  And not just to remind him "what it means to be a husband," but to confront the desires that are really going on here.  Calling him to "duty," I think, is meaningless.  At least, in this case, it is to me.  For I have no desire to be the object of "duty." But if he can sort out his feelings, perhaps we might get somewhere.  If those feelings, however, indicate that his marriage to me was a lie, then separation is indeed in order, whatever one calls it (and that does not matter to me--divorce, annulment, separation, etc.)  

On a happier note, I hope that you and your kids had a good Easter, too.  How old are your kids, and how many?  And did they get an Easter egg hunt?
Madame X (detail), John Singer Sargent, 1883–84, oil on canvas, 82 1/8 x 43 1/4 in. (208.6 x 109.9 cm), Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
Fat Bastard Fat Bastard
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

This post was updated on .
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Andrea T Andrea T
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

This post was updated on .
Believe whatever you want, Brady. If I was going to lie I'd  pull a Kimmer and   lie I was already thin to see  your reaction. It would  be a lot more interesting  to see how you treat success rather than setbacks. It's not like I believe a word you say when you're like this, so we're even.

Do I yo-yo? Duh , yes but I'm a long way off from where I started, and not giving up. Oh, by the way, that same site says:

"Second-degree burns are more serious and involve the skin layers beneath the top layer

Signs and symptoms: These burns produce blisters, severe pain, and redness. The blisters sometimes break open and the area is wet looking with a bright pink to cherry red color.
Healing time: Healing time varies depending on the severity of the burn. It can take up to 3 weeks or more."
Rose Rose
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

Andrea, don't let Brady and his sock puppets get to you.  Unless you look like an emaciated Asian teenager, you will always be perceived as fat by him.  
I have been around here for a couple years, successfully shed my weight, maintained my weight for a year now and have both empathy and sympathy for those who struggle with weight and those who struggle with a SO with weight issues.People are overweight for a variety of reasons and Brady's one size fits all solution (shame them, leave them, bully them) doesn't work most of the time.
FB- Regarding Andrea's weight gain during her hospital vigil, look up the effect of consuming carbs after being on a low or no carb diet.  Your liver, which is fairly devoid of glycogen, starts to store it up again, leading to weight gain, like 5 lb.  In addition, you retain a gram of water for every gram of carb you consume.  More weight gain, albeit water weight.  Salty, processed foods also promote water retention.  When this happens, your body pulls fluid out of the colon, leading to constipation, additional weight gain.   If you were eating really clean before your indulgence, the effects can be really severe and you can gain massive amounts of weight in a short time.
Rosie
loveinaturtleshell loveinaturtleshell
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Re: Stephen Fry on trolls...

In reply to this post by Andrea T
So that pic is of a burn patient??   I wondered, since it had a charred look, but am not a healthcare professional or anything like that...But scaring people with diabetes with such photos seems a bit cruel.   I am sure most people with diabetes need no such reminders....they are hounded with it all the time.  

So, am off to run, am hoping to get in a few miles...best to all of you!   LIATS

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