What I miss this last week? - and, aside from WuKong are any of the regulars from the old site still hanging around...Where is Chris now?
Is Matilda still posting?
Do we still have a 'motivational poster section? I used to like some of those... Karen the car was good.....
Posting again to give this site some good mojo again.
You know, obesity makes women look more masculine, and men look more feminine. My husband has breasts and looks more like a fat woman than a man. I'm not into women, so this is a problem. Our anniversary is coming up and the thought of it leaves me in tears. I don't want to be wished happy anniversary. I don't want to have sex. I don't want to have to go somewhere and watch him eat.
He's lost some of the weight, which brought him from morbidly obese to obese. He's working on it, so I'm sticking around. He doesn't smell anymore.
If any more trolls come back, we need to not feed them!!! Although that wasn't a troll per se; it was somebody not quite all there mentally (in my estimation). We need to protect each other, because this is the only safe space for us online.
Oh, I don't think people should be hard on Mary. Her suggestion that we show this site to our spouses might, in some cases, be a good one, and it was offered in good will. Wasn't there a woman who posted a little while back saying that her husband had done just that?
I do think that Mary put a lot of people off, and I was thinking about why. Her posts were very long--yes--and that is often a flag for something that makes people uncomfortable. But I can think of other posts that were just as long and nonetheless read with sympathy. In Mary's case, she was also very personal and detailed--but again, so have other postings been! Her situation was a bit bizarre--but, what, mine isn't? In the end, I kept coming back to grammar. I mean, we don't all have to be Chekhov (and I'm no grammar police), but without decent expression, one ends up appearing out of control. With it, one at least appears moderate...
All you parents out there: another reason to encourage your kids to major in English!
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Madame X (detail), John Singer Sargent, 1883–84, oil on canvas, 82 1/8 x 43 1/4 in. (208.6 x 109.9 cm), Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
"I'm not into women, so this is a problem." Man boobs not your thing? eecchh.....
I feel the same way about our anniversary. I stopped wearing the wedding ring a long time ago.
I'm ok with the idea of sex, but when I hit the wall of bad breath, other bodily odors that healthy people (I know from past relationships) might not have, the triple tummy rolls and the thighs that I swear are as big as my waist ( I've not found a sneaky way to measure them), It becomes hard to hold onto the mojo.
Same thing as well with dining, I feel as if I'm enabling a junkie, and mine is only obese. If she'd lose 40 pounds she'd probably fall under the threshold, she have to lose around 60 to be attractive. She has already told me that she won't do it. So I'm hanging around waiting for ???
I agree that Mary might not have been a troll, but she was definitely projecting her own problems into the aura of this place. (I'm not saying she was not a troll either) I felt like she was trying to avoid her own problems by castigating those of us who are seeking solace here. It is due her jeopardizing that sense of solace that I took severe offense to her criticizing those of us seeking a corner of sanity in our lives.
I agree with Slenderwife......
Re: Well that escalated quickly...
That was my impression. It was from a little unfriendly and uncomfortable one week to holy Sh** the next. I thought the site blew up or something... Deleted posts all over the place, I was getting emails about my posts being deleted, when I was pretty sure that I had not been posting porn & etc.... and had been abiding by whatever rules govern civilized blogging......
Re: You know, obesity makes women look more masculine, and men look more feminine.
I've been thinking about that, and you're right!
Now how to I go about telling this to Mrs Man out there right after she's waxed her mustache and powdered her iron jaw down.
That would go over big...
We have a couple of meetings that she attends and I kind-of preside over, She hangs out with some fat friends, and she is big as well, .. There are times that I do not recognize her. I did not spot her this last meeting, and the time before, her friend made a joke about "this woman is married" when I went to take a seat. I did not get it till I had recognized my wife some 20 min. later.... ( Idid not take that seat as I was looking for an appointed place I was supposed to monitor/ facilitate) I guess I'm not really paying attention, plus really not recognizing her from a glance... This is not a good thing btw....
I have had an incredibly busy time since end of Aug, so haven't been here much. As usual, stuff happens when I am absent!
I have noticed a kind of "mass hysteria" on my FB account from OW FBFs who make many comments validating their need to overeat, and who find anti-fat postings very offensive. It has really increased lately (due to anxieties about Halloween candy or holidays, perhaps?) They seem to be getting ready for the criticism of their eating habits as we approach these Major Pig Out times, and are testing their arguments on their FB timelines....lots of snark about skinny ppl who cannot possibly be happy (since we don't stuff our faces with fried food and milkshakes, we must be miserable, right?) No, we are not miserable. We move with ease and energy because we do not carry pounds of extra weight. We can wear nifty outfits because we do not have to hide bulges. We are healthy: no diabetes, high blood pressure or other bad things that cause unwellness. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, so the saying goes. How true that is!
I've seen that "fit mom" hype on the TV. Good for her, sez I.
The 'skinny ppl are miserable' stuff repulses me. If you live with a fat spouse, you get that attitude a lot.
I like the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" line.
Andrea T --- that is exactly it! That story elicited such anger from the women on my FB account. I kept mouth shut. I know most of the ladies and none are thin. Most are very OW, and most have health issues. All have health issues, really, as I think on it. But, they often tell themselves that being fat is OK. That was going on before the "What's Your Excuse", story...though the story certainly re opened the dialogue about weight.
But -- I don't know what these women want to be told? Lies? That is OK to weigh 250 lbs at 5-4??? That it won't bite them in the rear?? What do they tell themselves about their body and its size? Just ignore it, and keep eating? That they don't have rolls of fat, but curves? I think they have just given up, and don't like the reminder that they have given up and given in to what has happened.
I like not having the problems of being overweight. I have enough issues as it is....being fat would just make my life more uncomfortable and complicated and even, when I consider the serious health issues, just damn dangerous.
If most people in the USA were physically fit, and of normal wt., I think we would have a much different country. People would have more energy, and would think more clearly, and make better choices. People would not be so suggestible to every new fad or lie, either. Sitting around in a stupor after constant overeating day after day makes anyone compliant. High blood sugar and blood pressure and just the added stress of hauling around an extra 50 lbs or more does not make for individual sharpness of mind, and interest in knowing truth.
I was in a shop recently, and waited upon by a very obese woman. She had me go behind the counter to get a bag to place my purchase in! She was horribly out of breath, and just could not get down from her stool to get done what was needed. I felt for her, but I also felt concern for the business that employed her. What if I decided to rob the place? Or shoplift? It would not take much quickness to toss her to the floor, and get into the cash register (which she had left open, btw).... Certainly it was possible that she was more on the ball than she looked, but if I had been the wrong person, the store would have been easy pickings.