Will it ever change???

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Cassie Galbraith Cassie Galbraith
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Will it ever change???

My husband and I have been together for 15 years. During that time I've watched my husband get bigger and bigger. I was also over weight and very unhappy at one point but I started doing WW and spent the better part of a year working my ass off, literally. I lost a total of 80lbs and it was probably the hardest but most rewarding self accomplishment of my life. I thought maybe my husband would watch me and get inspired but no such luck. It just keeps getting worse. He doesn't let me talk about it with him and he won't bring it up to me, ever. He ignores it and presents it doesn't exist but his clothes never fit him and he is just losing confidence day by day. I've cried, begged, hinted, tried changing the food in our house, tried meal planning, tried gym memberships for us to go to together, gone to therapt to try to rewire my brain into not caring any more but none of, nothing, has ever worked. He's in more denial today then he ever was and if I ever bring it up, he tells me he could do it if I were just more supportive.  It's maddening. Beyond that, it's devastating to be 29 and not attracted to your husband. I feel like I'm in the prime of my life and in prison.
SofaKingDunn SofaKingDunn
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Re: Will it ever change???

The short answer is no. It will not change unless he wants to change. I have been going through the same thing for the past 10 years with my wife. I have done everything I can think of to try to get her to change; including counseling, threatening divorce, encouragement, etc, etc. Still nothing works. She has halfheartedly tried, WW, Quick Weight Loss Center, and a few other things. She knows that I won't leave because of my daughter and our financial situation. It sucks, but eventually you'll just die enough inside to where you don't really care anymore. It's a crappy way to live, but I just believe that there is no such thing as truly happy people anyway. Good luck though.
Mr Wibble Mr Wibble
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Re: Will it ever change???

20 odd years here, and no it won't change. If I could talk to the old me 20 years ago I would give me the same advise as I will now to you.

Run!
disappointed disappointed
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Re: Will it ever change???

I'm sorry about my "Auto Response" screwing up the "Top 5 Subjects" Header on the Home Page.  I hope that this comment will kick this subject back up into the "Top 5 Subjects" Header where it rightfully belongs.
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