You should ALL divorce your fat spouses

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GG GG
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You should ALL divorce your fat spouses

If you're even considering divorcing a spouse solely due to weight gain, I encourage you to go ahead and do it.

Your wife is going to get old and unattractive even if she stays thin (yes, just as you will, whether you realize it or not-- but that doesn't matter right now). There will INEVITABLY come a point where all the superficial reasons for being with her are gone, anyway.  So, with that in mind, you WILL lose all physical attraction to her sooner or later, thin or fat. There is no reason not to divorce now, especially when her physical appearance is all that matters to you.

The best part is, if you divorce her now, she will still be young enough to marry someone better than you.

As a nurse, I've seen so many elderly couples where the man is terminally ill, and the wife is working herself to the bone, taking care of him. Men die sooner. That's just a fact. You will probably die sooner than she does, and you will probably be sick a long time, with her taking care of you. I've seen it a lot. I ask you to please liberate your spouse from that burden early, especially since you obviously don't feel any love for her. None of you deserve to have someone by your side when the end approaches.

So, divorce. For her sake.
Fred Fred
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Re: You should ALL divorce your fat spouses

Troll....
Mme.X Mme.X
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In reply to this post by GG
Hmm.  Do we detect a struggling soul with her own issues who stumbled across this site late at night without bothering to read past the home page?  

GG. Take a breath. Save your defensive irony. Face your own fears. And if--far beneath the comfortable scaffolding of high and mighty moralism--you ever need a place to honestly vent your struggles in the delicate territory of desire, the minefield of the soul that has left many on this site bare and shivering in honest admission ... we will listen! With compassion. Because we've been there, and we're struggling, too.

 
Madame X (detail), John Singer Sargent, 1883–84, oil on canvas, 82 1/8 x 43 1/4 in. (208.6 x 109.9 cm), Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
life on hold life on hold
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In reply to this post by GG
Ah!  I see that she's directing her scathing diatribe only at husbands...  I guess she didn't bother to read on and realize that there are wives here, as well.  Apparently, she's got us men all figured out... Huh? Get off your high horse, GG.  :-p  You're experience as a nurse does not give you license to blast away indiscriminately.  If you're just being grouchy, then go eat a snickers.  It satisfies...  LMAO
used2bfat used2bfat
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In reply to this post by GG
I would like to remind GG that being overweight isn't just about appearance but also a major health issue as well. I am not just fed up with my spouses weight because he looks grotesque naked but also because he has already had three heart attacks and is continuing to kill himself in front of myself and my children. So I figure I may as well stay in the marriage since he is looking at an early exit anyways and the kids deserve to have their father in their lives as much as possible without all the hassles of divorce and split custody. There may very well be some guys here who feel similarly about their marriages. Being fat is a choice and when one choses to become an unhealthy slob then they don't deserve to have their significant others attraction.
IB IB
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In reply to this post by GG
I agree wholeheartedly!

Us chubbies do have options too, you know.  It's just that society and our skinny spouses like to make us think we don't.  

Also, if we do lose weight, as I am in the process of doing, marriages are often a casualty.   I've heard it many times on a board I frequent to support folks going through significant weight loss.  There's a spouse's forum on it where there are countless post from folks saying   "Do not let you wife/husband get weight loss surgery and lose weight.  Mine did and then they changed and left me.  I just can't figure it out!"

Well, I can figure it out.

Spouse sheds the weight and then feels confident to solve other issues in their lives.  They look at that wonderful person next to them who has been nagging them about losing weight.   They realize they have more options now as well.  And that nagging spouse doesn't look so impressive any more.  The troll who used to put them down and feel superior to them is still a troll with a superiority complex, and now they just seem silly.  And with the new body, they feel they don't have to settle for a troll any longer.  

The sad part is, is that there are plenty of fish in the sea who love people of substance just as they are.  You guys on here like to complain about how the internet is swimming with fatties.  Well, it's also swimming with chubby chasers, friends.  No one has to accept treatment from anyone who thinks they are superior to you.  No one.   There is always someone out there who would be happy to have you in their lives and treat you with kindness and respect.  

And, the OP is right.  Do your spouses a favor and leave them so they can find someone better.  It will save them the trouble of doing it to you when they are done losing the weight.


IB



Mme.X Mme.X
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Re: You should ALL divorce your fat spouses

IB wrote
There is always someone out there who would be happy to have you in their lives and treat you with kindness and respect.
Dear IB,

Thank you for posting!

I see that you are torn: you are losing weight, but also feeling the understandable anger at being nagged to lose weight. It is frustrating to work hard, to love, to support, to do all that you can, only to be told, "Lose weight!", and to perceive it as a criticism, as a rejection.  Anyone would feel the way that you do, the hurt, the anger.

Now it is possible that your spouse is demanding and unreasonable in other ways (read the posts by "Rose" here on MFS - her husband was a complete jerk, and she lost the weight and then left him, just as you describe). If so, you go, girl. Now that the tire is gone, leave tire marks!

On the other hand, your spouse might be in another position: caring for your well-being and health, and wanting to rekindle the passion of times past...wanting real intimacy with you, but feeling powerless against the physics of desire which can't be controlled any more than "deciding" who one will fall in love with!

I think that you are on the right track by seeing that you have options. It's up to you, and, in the end, it is all for you. Being healthy is for you. Seeing the love in front of you in whatever form it takes (or doesn't take) is for you. Deciding to look to others - and to yourself - with generosity, with kindness and respect, is for you.

If you choose.

Good luck!
Madame X (detail), John Singer Sargent, 1883–84, oil on canvas, 82 1/8 x 43 1/4 in. (208.6 x 109.9 cm), Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.
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